Xyreco

asian:

stop being cute if you’re not gonna like me back

vandigo:

orgasham:

methlemore:

orgasham:

masturbating-to-your-selfies:

102 chicken nuggets

why would you order 17 of 6 instead of 5 of 20… that shit’s expensive as hell

Getting 2 four pieces is cheaper then 1 6 piece know your nuggets

but getting 1 20 piece is cheaper than 3 6 pieces KNOW YOUR NUGGETS

this is how word problems for math books are started, isn’t it.

cas-has-the-phone-box:

flaming-thundercunt:

jesselaceypanties:

whose dog is it?

That’s a kangaroo

That’s the biggest rabbit I’ve ever seen

cas-has-the-phone-box:

flaming-thundercunt:

jesselaceypanties:

whose dog is it?

That’s a kangaroo

That’s the biggest rabbit I’ve ever seen

awwww-cute:

Told him to get off the top of the car, he did this

awwww-cute:

Told him to get off the top of the car, he did this

approvinqly:

I’m so much cooler on tumblr than in real life but I’m not even cool on tumblr

bckyb4rnes:

youngmushroom:

hwatlarry:

  • if you are a vegan
  • great!
  • tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
  • but if you ever
  • ever
  • tell me that im a killer
  • or try to make me feel bad
  • for eating meat
  • i
  • will
  • eat
  • you

ok but consider this: you should feel bad.

ok but consider this: i WILL eat you

thats-slightly-raven:

kelseyknowsbest:

thats-slightly-raven:

I remember in 2009 there was this craze going around at my school where girls were trying to get drunk by inserting vodka soaked tampons in their bodies and this girl tried it with blue alcopops and it dyed her princess parts turquoise. 

princess parts

That is what I said yes.

funny-pictures-uk:

Best business card ever.

funny-pictures-uk:

Best business card ever.

Satan: [appears]
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: LANGUAGE.
Satan: What?
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.

baesicdallas:

So there’s this place in New South Wales called Yass and there is a mcdonalds there and well…..

image

lostoncementtrails:

squiddious:

cheezy98151:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

foodchewer:

*hides good snacks from family members*

there’s a word for thatimage

hello my name is maggie and im a defensive eater..

hello maggie and welcome to defensive eaters anonymous now who took all the cookies

That would be the most stressful meeting to supply snacks for.

falloutdallon:

infamymonster:

takingthegreyhound:

On my first day working at Disney World I went into the bathroom and accidentally smacked right into Snow White, and she went “Oh fuck!” and almost dropped her Red Bull and that was the beginning of the best job I’ve ever had.

On my first day I was walking and ran into Ariel drinking Starbucks and she said “What’s up bitches”

I want to work at Disney

So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol turns green, “explodes” and then disappears.

the-doctor-and-his-companions:

ask-pinkamena-diane-p:

theshelbylife:

incestuous-lesbianponies:

laurarw:

image

I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG


HOLY SHIT

((Fuck, I’m on mobile))

If you your on mobile you can just hold the reblog button down